((Melba, kiya, tumnus echoes, coco,))

Melba, I wonder why it will feel like a lie? I know exactly what you mean. I wonder if the idea of an intimate relationship dissolves into a lie quickly because our internalized experience with family of origin dictates that.

I really wonder if we can ever really truly heal from this? I mean, it feels like it is at a cellular level. You know, if someone is anemic for a long time, the shape of their cells changes. I think this might be true for infants and children who are neglected. I imagine that the level of knowing what to expect is at a shape-changing cellular level. So we have to use our intellect to carry what we learn at an emotional level in therapy. And we carry it with us and remind ourselves on a cognitive level, that we are not alone, it just FEELS like that. Oy, what a task for us!



Echoes, the denial is a learned skill and these are the times I know my mother did at least SOMETHING valuable. She taught me DENIAL--and I don't mean the river!