Thank you so much for your responses. Knowing that I have somewhere to go now where people understand is a tremendous relief..I actually slept pretty well last night and that hasn't happened in a long time lol. My husband today says he exercised extremely poor judgement. I'd like to believe he gets it but I know he doesn't because he continues to minimize his role and said that he thinks sometimes my feelings come from left field. I told him that there isn't a woman out there that would be comfortable with what he did and that by trying to isolate my feelings as something that would be more abnormal than normal onlt makes him dismissive and that brings us back to the whole respect thing. I know some people reading this may think I am in denial but I assure you there are no rose coloured glasses on here. I am committed to him and our family just not at any price. Thanks again everyone for your support it means more than you can know.