I was supposed to take the kids to visit Grandma and Grandpa this weekend...but honestly...I just didn't feel ready to see my mother. I chickened out....but gosh I feel so relieved. It's so strange to feel so free and happy without my mother around. I knew my anxiety level was rising with each passing day getting closer to "the visit" and my other half finally just said it - Why go if you feel this way? Just wait until you're ready....WHAT A RELIEF! The more I hear about the lies she spread about me, the more conflicted I get about seeing her again. We talk (a little), but it's all just "surface chatter" and I don't foresee ever trusting her again with anything of personal significance.....How could a parent possibly do what she has done to me? I'm still in awe of her venom producing capacity...and it was ALL to satisfy her anger...At least, I've learned a valuable lesson about parenting....SUPPORT YOUR KIDS.....DO NOT JUDGE....AND LOVE THEM EVEN WHEN THEY DON'T DO IT YOUR WAY! I keep telling myself that when I recover from this, I will, at least have that positive legacy to pass on to my kids.....