((((hugs)))) you don't have to cancel your membership... taking a hiatus is fine.... and remember, we have depression forum here too...
Just a note of caution, even though your other sides are sharing with your T (and spouse?) make sure the T helps them to realize that it might not be such a good thing to do so with the average public... and like you shared, perhaps not even with close friends?
This must feel very scary... learning things about oneself that were previously unknown. I know the feeling from when after I've had a flashback relating to my accident... and didn't know what I'd done and being told. I hope it feels ok for you to be aware of this information as it's disclosed...
But please stick around... you don't have to post or read much.... but it's good to have you still in PC's thoughts....