After my last 'episode', I realized something...

This is no way to live. Intentionally inflicting harm on your own body as a means of coping? Cutting into your skin to see the blood, the feel the pain, as a way to feel better? How very ironic. And now, I say to myself, 'no more'. But I can't trust myself enough to actually do 'no more'. Today, tomorrow, the next day...I may feel totally fine and swear that I will NEVER cut again. But then one day something will happen, my whole mind set will change, and I'll rationalize doing it just one more time. I hate that I can't trust myself to really stick to something and keep a promise to myself...

All I know is I'm tired of doing this to myself. Being a 'cutter', and carrying around the guilt and shame that comes with it. From here on out, I'm officially quitting. But with that, I might also ask some of you for some help, which is extremely beyond hard for me...please don't think I'm just trying to gain attention toward myself because I'm not. I'm just tired of living with this twisted coping mechanism.

Thanks for taking the time...here it goes.