Dear Babysteps, Your original post continues to percolate in my mind (by now it's dark roast, for sure...). You have two things that offer a measure of joy: a dog and PC. I find myself wanting to distill that peculiar joy and mix it with Alaskan's Happy Juice.
Hmmm...Too early to develop this...
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My dog
mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it.