Aw, crap. Please let me vent here because there is nowhere else to go right now.

I thought I had depression under control, but I think it is bothering me again.

First, it was my T saying that I am a lousy mom who will screw up her kid.

Then it was the breastfeeding expert at work telling us that if mothers loved their children enough they would breastfeed no matter what it did to them.

Then the same expert waited until I was gone and told the mother of my patient that I don't want the patient to get better and am holding the patient back.

Then one of my favorite coworkers who threw a baby shower for me last year...started taking about how hard it is to deal with her mom lately. I asked her what was going on. Apparently mom had a psychotic episode. That sucks! Then my friend described what her mom's symptoms were...oh **** oh ****...she's describing a classic manic episode that progressed to psychotic features. The hospital basically treated the mom like she was a misbehaving child, threatening and yelling while doing loads of tests. No treatment was done for the mania AT ALL. Mania is a medical emergency! The mom had a seizure from lack of sleep and hypoglycemia after 5 days of no sleep and no eating. She was okay after that.
My friend talked about how horrible her mom was, and how she just wouldn't focus, you get the picture. Yet another coworker who hates bipolar people.

After that I drug my sorry tired butt back home. My mother in law just came into town...and my hubby said he would drop her off at the hotel and come home. OH NOOOOOOO he told mom he would make me go out to dinner with them instead. So after three days of hell, my jackass husband makes me listen to his mom pick on me for hours at dinner. If I wanted to see my baby after three days of work I had no choice.

I am so depressed I just want to curl up in bed and wonder what I ever did to deserve this.