This post comes at an interesting time for me. I think everyone has a different capacity for unconditional love. To me, abusive parents have a lower capacity of unconditional love for their children. However, it doesn't mean they cannot develop such a capacity. Or maybe in another country, unconditional love doesnt exist as much between parents & children because maye the child must prove themselves worthy first. In our society though, we hold unconditional love towards family in high esteem...Even if the kid is a brat like me haha.

I recently ended a long distance relationship with my boyfriend. He had what I viewed as an unhealthy friendship with his supposed best friend. She has been in therapy for the past year since she's made multiple suicide attempts. She loved him. being that they are oth insecure people, they frequently relied on eachother for unconditional support. If either of them needed to talk, they would be there for each other at any time for as long as they needed. They wanted one of those "I'll be there for you at anytime always no matter what" friendships. My ex diligently spent many long, stressful nights saving her from attempting suicide. He admits he loved her too.
When him & I got serious, she attempted suicide again & demanded they talk about their friendship for hours on end, particularly whenever I made a rare visit. Usually he would cave to her needs, which would often impact how he treated me. For example, he would frequently go ahead & have these long conversations with her about her needs & their friendship, leaving me alone for long periods of time multiple times, even in bars late at night. Upset when he asked for some space from her, she spread blatantly false rumors about me. As a result, I caught alotta heat from their mutual friends. It was very stressful & finally got in the way of my relationship with him.
Clearly, he "loved" her too, since he was willing to deal with all of this. He wouldn't criticize really her too much for it. He wanted to stand by her side regardless, even when her jealousy got out of control & started getting in the way of our relationship. He is still friends with her to this day.
Thankfully, after 2 months, she's calmed down......I still broke up with him though, cause I didnt want to compete anymore. I want him to work things out with her before I continue anything with him.

What I want to know is, what should the boundaries be? Is this kind of relationship what one should expect from unconditional love? Should that kind of unwavering support be assumed to be normal with love like that, or is it different between different people? How about between two people who arent in a relationship? What is generally considered to be "normal"?

I've always felt that, at least in friendships & in relationships [outside of family], everything should be conditional. If you don't set conditions, people will walk all over you, & I cannot respect [therefore love] selfish people like that. I believe knowing your boundaries & setting them are extremely important. I'm pretty sure those boundaries are a condition. I guess you can still love someone & avoid them until they are able to respect boundaries though....I'm just not like that though, personally. If someone, no matter who it is, doesnt love me enough to give me space & respect, I can't have unconditional love for them. It speaks volumes about them in return, & I can't have respect for that. Respect is parallel to love for me, & mutual respect is a biggie.

Although despite how FURIOUS I am with my ex over that whole situation, I do still have intense feelings towards him. Somehow I wouldn't lose respect for him during all those weird nights...I was just sad that she always seemed to be more of a priority. I'm not sure if that's my conditionally loving or not. Eh, maybe I have more of a capacity for it than I thought.

Weird.