Oooh! Philosophy!

I think it is possible to love unconditionally, but I think it's important to be clear about what unconditional love really is. I think love is simple care. It's connected to a willingness to see people as essentially good, but with occasional issues that occlude that inherent, pure character, in the same way that a virus can make an otherwise healthy person sick.

If you are needy, it's very hard to accomplish that kind of perspective because you end up seeing the world in terms of how it serves those needs. Extreme example: if you're terrified of being alone, you'll respond to hints of abandonment by blaming, distancing, judging, and attributing negative characteristics to those people. As you move towards self-sufficiency and bust up your fears, you become less defensive and your heart opens up to others. The need to protect yourself diminishes and you're able to see people outside of the role they play respecting your needs and fears. You can also then start to unconditionally accept (that is, see the inherent goodness) in yourself.

I believe that's what a lot of self-help and self-development, including meditation and mindfulness are aimed at. I also think that's the essence of forgiveness.

Good thread, sab!