I'm sorry so many of us are in pain and difficulty tonight - can't even blame it on the full moon.
I have been planning to go see my Dad in San Antonio. He lives in the home I grew up in and is my last living family member and is not abusive - just has his own issues. So it is a good/ummm not always good deal. I may try to extend my visit, he is fine with me being there as he is lonely. But, his home is filthy and cramped so... All the negatives aside, I do now know my Dad loves me and He accepts that I was abused. He worked and drank a lot when I was going through the worst of it and was truly cluelesss.
I am going to try and get the spare room cleaned up and maybe move into it and just quit trying to make it up to him. I'm pretty fed up with his neglect and indifference.
One daughter is living with her husband's relatives and the other just got married. Somehow I don't think going to them for refuge will help. If I need to there is a place not too far from here where a couple keep a room above their garage to let people stay in for a break.
You are both right about DID. It is a true lifesaver in childhood, but it is totally effing up my life as an adult. The more responsibilities and challenges I have the more my DID seems to be a detriment to me. (ps my littles, i am not complaining about you. i mean that switching gets me in trouble and so does losing time and memories. i love you guys!)
Thank you all for your support. Take good care of yourselves. I do feel the support from you all and it means a lot. I feel I need to find a way to lean on God more, since I know He really will not abandon me. Sometimes I just wish I could see Him in person and get a hug.
Sending Hugs to All of You!
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  HEALING HAPPENS
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