Hi idontknow13,
I am sorry you are feeling so low. When I am feeling low and don't want to or cannot do anything, I write in my journal. I know you said that you are tired of all the words, well, getting them all out of your head can help clear out your mind of all the thoughts. This then helps you to move forward, even one step is a move forward. This works for me most of the time. Maybe you can think of something else that will distract your bad tho'ts so you can get to doing those things that need to get done. I hope you find something that works for you. I hope you will eventually feel better and can go outside w/o fear. LIke depressedAlaskan, who walks with her head down, I can relate to that. I also take my walks w/ my head down most of the time, just so I don't see those judgmental faces, but, when I am down there, I look at the flowers and other things of beauty, and they usually can help to brighten my mood. Take care!