Well Marjan I have to say they might play a little but to be quite honest, since I am 47 now all sorts of things have a part in my problem. yes drugs definitely doesnt help, but I am so frigged up I am not sure what is what these days. I just have to start chipping away at the mountain and see where that goes. I also like u said to try to remain consistant which you probably know is easier said than doneh

I started taking my meds again today as I had some left, I pretty much had to as I was going a little crazy and the depression was killing me....I have come to the sad conclusion that I will never be able to get off these. (I suppose that is typical) and I guess I have to come to terms with that. But at least when I am on them I am typically a pretty normal guy and not thinking of doing harm to myself, which of course is a good thing, I have never acted on the suicide thoughts, but just the thoughts are enough to drive me crazy(er) lol

But I will keep on my meds....they help me think a hell of a lot clearer. But I know I have issues to work on, tons of them

Anyway take care.