{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Perzephone}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I totally agree with Petunia
"Try to look at it this way. Depression has reared it's ugly head one too many times and now it's time for you to kick it's ugly butt."

could not have said it better myself..........but please know your NOT alone.........but your doing a great job of taking the first step to a healthier you.. but be patient and do not rush yourself and give yourself the time and space needed to work on you.. give yourself credit for taking this BIG STEP.....take care and keep us updated and post your feelings anytime
sending you lots of love
take care