I think your point here is really close Emily....

To Love rather than be Loved.....is where the Joy is...almost like the Love of an infant to its caregiver...He/She has no concept of the deep aspects of Love...Love at this stage closely resembles need...So the caregiver is Loving without the expectation of returned Love..in a mature sense...We love them because we are biologically programmed to...The deeper Love matures as does the child...

I remember viewing an interview of Jeffrey Dammer and his Father...they both sat side by side facing the interviewer...

It was plain that Jeffrey's Father Loved him..it was clear through his responses and simply his presence with such a monster...

His utter disgust for his son's behaviors was also evident as was his deep personal sadness.

His Father displayed profound poise in those moments...an act of Love that I still find hard to totally understand...

Lenny