I am so sorry for the climate in which you feel forced to live. I understand the bruises left by unkind words, went throught, too, and it was worse than hitting ever would have been. I think making the spare room into a refuge is a very good idea that will send a message that says, "I am not your whipping boy." I hope you do it, sending you my strength so you can do it. I think you will feel stronger for making that step towards independence. I will be thinking of you often, with loving thoughts. Miri