I am struggling today feeling MIGHTY bad about myself and hating what I do to cope with my pain. I have marked up arms right now from the night before going into hospital and they stand out BIG time now. I went to a wedding reception for a friend yesterday who goes to our church and LOTS of people from our church were there and I have not seen them in a VERY long time....they would come up to me and ask about my arms "what happened" UGH I wanted to DIE so bad......I just kept saying nothing and they would say that is not nothing, then other times I would just pull my arm away and walk away...........boy what a stressful evening it was........I was so ASHAMED and HATED myself so much...........I hate summer now.....it is so stinking hot and I cannot hide my arms like in the cooler months........JUST STRUGGLING so bad right now..........even wanting to cut more..........hate this vicious cycle I am on thanks for listening.........