I think you mentioned he is successful? Sometimes successful men (not to exclude women but my personal experience that I am drawing from only include men) do not relate well to people outside of their business. In business, they are expected to make decisons that exclude emotional feelings. In life, it's not that simple because life is emotional.
I have actually read the Power of Now. I have a Master in Psych and it was recommended to me by a friend that I went to college with that did some work on the ego and self and that is what the book is primarily about. The intial premise of the book is a good one. However, it's misleading in the sense that it suggests (or the author..Ekhart Tolle) that life itself isn't influenced by the past or the future just by the present or the now. I have a problem with that in the sense that I think many people are indeed influenced by many things including culture, community, experiences past, present and future etc I believe to live your life in such a rigid way is shortsighted in the sense that you will not allow outside influences to influence you. Any experience would not influence you or your future. To live your life based on the theory that there are no future experiences there is only right now...well..as I said I think it's shortsighted.
Regardless, I think your father is a little self absorbed and perhaps a little insecure. He is the master of his domain and now he had his own child, the one he raised challenging his authority, his voice. He is likely not sure what to do with such an intelligent young woman and so he does what has always worked he tries to bully you.
I wouldn't use your mom as an ally. By suggesting to her that he is not a very nice person, impossible to relate to, you may well be justified in your thoughts but your still talking about her husband. She has stayed with him because either his behaviour is ok with her or she doesn't want to start over and risk losing everything she has worked just as hard to achieve.
I am not sure the kind of relationship you want with im is achievable. He doesn't see himeself as a flawed individual..it's everyone else with the probems..right? That means that compromise isn't going to happen..it's his way or the highway.
So, what do you do? You protect yourself. You place boundaries around yourself. When he is behaving like a bully remove yourself. When he is yelling, say "when you have calmed down and would like to have a calm conversation, find me until then I am not giving this or you my attention" at first he will be resistant and may even up the ante by trying to instigate fights or may try to deliberately pick on you. Stick calm, stay strong and repeat what you want, a calm, adult conversation.
I think you should move. When your on your own then you have more room to negotiate what kind of relationship you want. It makes it difficult if he feels he has any stake in what you are doing especially if it's a financial one.
If he cannot change his behaviour, then you may have to limit your time with him. You can explain that his behaviour is abusive and that simply because your his daughter doesn't mean he can use you as a target or an emotional punching bag.
Good Luck and please keep me updated