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Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge
or some (you should pardon the expression) T-shirts  |
you know... it actually took me a really long time to "get" that.
deli's brain has gone to mush!!! but LOLOLOL when i finally did - very clever, miss sawe!
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Originally Posted by Fool Zero
Thanks for sharing those, deli. 
Personally, I found part 2 the more interesting of the two. I did come up with rather an off-the-wall guess as to what was going on. I'm afraid it would be too much of a spoiler to tell you now, but I'd be happy to leave my guess with a trusted third person until the time is ripe (or clearly never will be).
I do think you should talk to Austin-T about what happened -- but keep coming from your own experience of it, not from the opinion (which I notice many here agree with) that he must have mishandled your session.
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i am interested in your off-the-wall guesses. sometimes they say a lot about me, and sometimes they say a lot about you
. either way, i find it interesting, yeah?
yes. re: the talk with Austin-T. i do think he mishandled the session, but i don't think it would be productive to point it out. and "mishandled" sounds kind of severe... i think he just slipped into textbook-T mode, given that he's under a lot of stress from his other work commitments now. so it was something a lot more passive.
either way. i'm kind of tossing up between 2 approaches. a) just tell him how upset i was or b) flag that i was upset, but ask about his perception of how the session went last week before i disclose how it went for me. i think the latter could open up a bit more dialogue in terms of how we work together, whereas the first would be more problem solving e.g., "no leaving a session feeling suicidal!". ideally, i guess, i'd want both - but if i started with the latter i'm not sure i'd have the courage to mention the sui- thoughts & depression and stuff.
one thing i am very good at (in my own self-defeating way) is turning off emotion, especially at those times it needs to be expressed. so i dont know.
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Originally Posted by Kiya
Deli - yep - me too. And i have gone sui in T before. I never told her. I felt if i told her, i'd lose her for sure. and if i lost her, then i really would have no further reason. she is the reason i am where i am. i just sent her an email today saying that without her and my dr i'd be lost.
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(((((kiya)))))
that's lovely of you to tell your T how much she means to you. for what it's worth, i don't think she'd abandon/reject you if you mentioned your sui thoughts. probably just have an opportunity to be more on your page, and help you even more effectively (which i'm sure she'd appreciate!).
as for myself, i'm not sure why i have such a hard time mentioning that sort of vulnerable stuff. i think it's just that i don't want T to know he has that much power or that he can get to me so much. and also, i'm ashamed that my thoughts even go that way over something so trivial.