Well I survived, and did not get locked up !

Thanks everyone for all your support.

It went pretty good. He is a doc for meds and getting a 'real' diagnosis. He recommended someone to do the talk therapy with who specialized in BPD and depression. Usually they would just treat for depression and forget the other half of my issues. So maybe I can actually deal with all the issues and get the right med mix to not make it worse. Only time will tell. But this doc actually asked real questions and listened to my answers.

Right now it makes me feel a little hopefull and think the light at the end of the tunnel might just not be a train........