well, i had a shower... helped a little, getting clean and everything. my rooms a mess though. im... worrying. a lot. about stupid stuff. and i cant shake this feeling... its been getting worse since i started taking the meds, i think... i dont really know though. and then i think well itll all be over after some sleep in the morning... but then thats still anything up to eight hours away. so then i start thinking that theres a closer, quicker and more permanent way out. and it sounds pathetic.
and now im terrified that my parents can find out that im on this site and that they know what im posting because my mom asked me if me and my boyfriend broke up AGAIN today...
i want out. i want it to stop. I DONT WANT TO PLAY ANY MORE.