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All relationships in our lives are changing, perhaps evolving. Your current relationship with your ex-girlfriend is doing that right now. You are correct in thinking you can't know what the relationship will be like in the future, or if there will even be one.
As long as the relationship isn't causing you or another person harm, then I would just let it be what ever it is right now. You are going through a process, a journey. You aren't changing channels on TV or turning on or off a light.
There's another thread elsewhere that speaks to unconditional love. Like you with your dad, I have cut my mother out of my life. It's been a very long painful process. I kept thinking I could love her unconditionally - some would say I do. But if her relationship to me is so hurtful and disrespectful that the only way I can "have a relationship with her" is to NOT have a relationship with her, is that really love for either of us? I know in her own way, her very self centered, abusive, unlimited boundary way, she loves me. But her love causes me nothing but hurt and pain.
My love for my mother can not be expressed except by staying away from her, to protect myself and to protect her from me when she hurts me - again. I don't think she would say she feels any love from me. So is my love unconditional or not?
But that question is not what you are asking, sorry to digress. I'm 55 years old and I've spent my entire adult life trying to have a loving, respectful relationship with my mother. Our relationship has taken many forms, many twists and turns. I was as faithful and authentic as I could be in our relationship. I think that's all you can do in any relationship. Let it be what it is for you now. When you need to change it, or the other person needs to change it, that will become obvious and the change will happen naturally, if not painlessly.
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