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I hear you. Here's a few more good ones:
"You're just lying about and faking your medical conditions to get sympathy from others so you can manipulate them into doing things for you."
"But you LOOK good."
"You're just a neurotic hypochondriac who needs to learn how to do things for herself."
"You've been fooling your doctors for years and have tricked them into putting you on disability."
"You CHOSE to be disabled."
My thinking now is that instead of being hurt, defensive, and reactionary, it might be better to develop some pointed responses, such as:
"I don't recall requesting a medical consult from you?"
"Really -- and where did you get your medical degree and what are your qualifications?"
"I believe my doctors are more qualified than you to evaluate and assist me in managing my disability, and I am managing my disability as best I can under their supervision. Unfortunately for you, however, unless you seek professional advice and treatment for your complete lack of empathy and compassion for your fellow humans, there isn't much hope that you will ever manage your disability or recover from being an emotional cripple."
"Perhaps you should try to find out why you feel compelled to attack, criticize, and bully those who are least able to defend themselves, especially those who are disabled."
"How have you deluded yourself into believing that you are so omniscient and omnipotent as to be authorized to measure and define the degree of suffering of others?"
"Your bitterness over not receiving enough attention from others is showing."
"Sounds to me like you have a personal problem."
"So what?"
"Are you so insecure that you're afraid others might pay more attention to me than to you?"
"So what you're saying is that anyone who is suffering less than the one person in the world who is suffering more than anyone else in the world isn't suffering at all?"
These are just a few that I'm working on myself. Obviously, anyone who would say something like that to you is being condescending, demeaning, insulting, etc., with the intention of hurting you. So, instead of addressing the words these people are saying to us, perhaps we need to learn to address the intent of their words and what their words reveal to us about their insecurities and dysfunctions. Remember, no one has the right to define you other than you, and you're disability does not define your identity either.
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"I walked a mile with Pleasure; she chattered all the way, But left me none the wiser for all she had to say. I walked a mile with Sorrow and ne'er a word said she; But oh, the things I learned from her when Sorrow walked with me!"
(Robert Browning Hamilton; "Along The Road")
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