It has been 6 weeks since my attempt. I have been put on new meds, am in individual counseling and tomorrow i start group counseling as well. Before my attempt i lost a good buddy in iraq. I lost all caution and grabbed the first available person to be affectionate with. He turned out to be a psychotic crackhead with a sick girlfriend. they continued cotact after my attempt. Both of them continued their bs. I cut all ties to them 5 days ago. I guess healing from the twisted things he did and the abusive things she said will haunt me for awhile. I am a veteran, i never thought i would see such darkness in peoples hearts unless we were at war with them. I guess i have learned to be cautious especially when i am emotionally vulnerable. Aside from that, i want to fight for a better life...i want to work again and have a car again and live among others who are living full lives too. I just wanted to share. So if you are reading this, thank you for taking the time to read this. nuckingfutz