Hey Ken,

I can relate with you on some things. I'm not a doctor and have no idea what is wrong with me either, so I really can't give advice I guess but it does sound like Bipolar. I was on meds as a teen, it made me suicidal and like a zombie. So now my life is spinning out of control but I don't have the courage to try another medication. My mom also ha severe problems with meds the whole time I was growing up, she has Bipolar also. She stop her meds when I was 14 and then it was like she was a different person. A doctor has told me I was Bipolar but I guess now I am at the depressed phased and it seems to be lasting longer than usual. But sometimes I think nothing is wrong with me and maybe I have a right to be a little screwed up. I also don't sleep and have seen the "bugs" along with several other things. From the time I was 15 until about 20 I drank alot but then again I think all my friends did too. I don't know. I have used drugs but not weed. I don't like being mellow, I like jumping off the walls. For awhile that was the only way I could get myself moving. If someone was to offer me something right now I think I would take it in a instant. I know that's probably bad but it seems that is the only time I feel like I can be myself or actually happy. Well, sorry for rambling. Best of luck to you. I would say go to the ER but I have yet to do it myself because I am afraid I will be hospitalized and now just isn't a good time for it. So, sorry I really couldn't give you any advice but I do hope everything works out for you.

sam