Ripley said,

There is a psychological term "object constancy" that might relate to what you are describing. Basically, when we are very young, we learn to hold an image of a parental figure in our mind even when they are not around, and this provides comfort and also the sense of continuity. Learning this depends on the parental figure being somewhat consistent, fairly responsive, and able to help us reconnect after there has been a disconnection. (Like one or the other person being angry, or even just absent)

If we don't experience those things, we can fail to learn that 'objects (ie attachment figures) remain constant over time. And that can result in what you seem to be describing...which is also my experience in all of my relationships, most especially that with my therapist. My hope though, (and in reading the other responses here I am encouraged!) is that I can gain enough experience of this consistency and reconnection in therapy to allow me to feel more continuity everywhere.

Ripley,

You are so right on with that description. On my t session this past week, we talked about the disconnected way i experience our sessions, and our relationship. She said exactly what you did: that it's a problem with object constancy. She also said that it's possible since i am dissociative that some of my self states were dissociated and not fully present in some of our sessions. so this would also add to the disconnected feeling.

my t is out of the office all week. but she offered (I still can't believe this!) to let me email her each day and she would reply!!! I've worked with her for a very long time and she has *never* offered that to me. I don't know if it was because of the disconnection problem, or if it was because i felt so bad about being ignored all session when i brought my h with me a couple of weeks ago. But she actually is letting me email each day, and so far, she has answered each day. This is making me feel encouraged and more connected. . .but also *guilty*. Because it feels too good to let myself have or something. . .