Hey, depressedalaskan! Yes, you are alive. Yes, you have to fight. I've been fighting to stay alive and be alive for almost 60 years, now(no wonder I'm tired!). Why do we do it? Because it's worth it. Life - it is the only thing of any true value that any of us possess because without that one precious thing we can have and be nothing; without it there are no options, no hope, no possibilities. I don't know what lies beyond or if we get recycled - all I know is that I am here at this point in time and space and for all I know this is my one and only shot at it, so I will tread water or doggy-paddle or float or swim or whatever it takes to stay here as long as I can to see how it all turns out. If you get too tired, depressedalaskan, there are plenty of folks here, including me, who will gladly toss you a life-preserver and help you keep your head above water. All the pain, the fog, the crushing fatigue, and the paralysis of depression we endure, and even just by enduring we give hope to others that they can endure and hope, as well. Do whatever it takes to be here because you are needed here.