I have been calling Ts all morning, this time when I have left them messages or talked to them on the phone I come right out and say "I need a T who has a ton of experience in DID and someone who is willing to help me further it along and get past my blackouts, not someone who is trying to get rid of it." Needless to say I was having no luck!

I even had one T tell me "I don't think you can get past the blackouts" and another when I said "experience with Dissociative Identity Disorder" she said "How do you say that first word? The d one?" Some Ts today should not be allowed to work! I ended up giving up after 15 phone calls.

So I got a call back from a woman just a bit ago who said she has a large amount of DID experience. She was very kind and when I told her I wanted to get past my blackouts she said she would help me with that. I also told her that I didn't want to "get rid" of DID and she told me "Of course not! All of my patients feel that way, I would never want to get rid of something that is a part of you or someone who lives in your head, that's appauling" (spelling?) I am so happy! She wants to help me and she doesn't want to get rid of them and she has experience also!!!

Only down side is she may not have an appointment for 1-2 months but if that's what it takes I will wait! She has me on the list in case someone drops out though so fingers crossed!!! I'd rather wait 1-2 months for a good T who can help me than waste time with a T who can't or wont!

I'm so happy right now because I'm hopeful now! There is hope for me and I can't wait to meet this woman! I may not have to wait for an extremely long time to meet Becky and that makes me so happy!!! I'm SO excited and just had to share it with everyone!