A friend described me as walking through a Nyquil fog when I'm depressed. I laughed at that because that's kind of what it feels like when I'm up and doing things. Plus a lot of thoughts about self-harm or worse, depending on how depressed I am. I am one of those whose mood can go up when I experience something fun or pleasant, only to have it plunge when it's over. But my mood doesn't always go up in those times. I'm worst in the winter and I have increasing anxiety the closer we get to September, because that's when I started getting really bad again last year. I actually did pretty well for a couple of months this summer for the first time in a couple of years.