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The relationship feels good or bad based on whatever happened at the most recent session. Somehow, i can't see the big picture. So i never do develop a secure attachment based on years worth of separate interactions that i should be able to combine to form a lasting
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I often feel like the history I have with someone is as good as the last interaction I had with them.
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I've read that these are BPD traits. I used to do that a lot more than I do now. Now I see, for example, with my T, that the attachment is secure even if we argued or she didn't understand me during the last session or last phone call. A good relationship remains good even if something disturbs it momentarily. But I still struggle with this. That's why I have to "make it right" if something is off when I talk to my T. But I don't forget that she will always care about me.