(((((((((((((((Calista)))))))))))))) I know how scary this is. I found similar notes in a notebook a year or two ago. They were dated 1992 and written to my husband and two children. I agree with Hunny about putting them up and taking them to T. I have parts that are suicidal too and T was able to talk to me about them and to those parts. Keeping in close contact with T and paying attention to how I'm feeling when I can has helped a lot. Please take very gentle care.