Thank you all for the kind words. I just lock up when I go to write on here. It's such a challange just to talk sometimes.

I feel like a complete failure. I can't get over my feelings for my T. They run so much deeper than what I have previously shared. I want to scream it out loud just to get it out but it is so embarressing. I feel I can't do anything right that my T ask me to do...I just want to give up.

Things just seem so confusing right now. Don't know where I am going with T, my marriage, am I raising my son well, can I ever be the person I want to be. I look back and I feel that I am keeping myself from changing, when I don't want to be that used, abused, corrupted little girl like I was, and still feel I am. I still feel I am all to blame for my life, even after 2 years of therapy.

I just think it is useless. Everything seems that way.
I am going down, way down.