((((CLK6)))))) --

You can't handle it any worse that I did! A few years ago I was banned from emailing my T because I would end up emailing him my angry feelings that I could not contain. So, rightfully, he told me he would not read any more emails I wrote. So, guess what I did? Yesterday, I emailed him about my feelings (as you have seen in my posts) but I knew he wouldn't read it. SO, I wrote what I wanted in the subject line and ended up sending him quite a few emails (the subject line is short, BTW). I wanted him to see them. I couldn't contain things anymore and I felt like I was left with no other option except to be in excruciating pain. So he actually wrote me back and told me he wished I wasn't in pain, he wished me peace, and told me he'd see me next week. I didn't expect that at all. Make sure you post alot, we'll help you get through this!

I feel the same way you do! I have difficulty with the fact that he doesn't think about me while he is away, he doesn't know if I'm in pain or not, and to me that means he doesn't care. He asked me why I was okay going on vacation myself but had difficulty with him doing it. It's because I KNOW I think about him when I'm away. I KNOW I still care about him when I am away and I would want to know if he was in pain and if I could do something about it. It doesn't make sense to me at all, but that seems to be the case for a lot of my feelings. I guess it makes me feel like I'm not important at all and it's very painful. (((((CLK6)))))))))))) -- you're not alone!

It's really good that you can put all of this into words! Is your T packing her desk to take with her, lol? Is she going to the Swiss Alps?=)
Take care!