My hematologist often asks me, as part of my exam, if I am experiencing bone pain, a symptom of this foolish disorder due to my misbehaving bone marrow.

I never know how to answer such questions. I seem to have a high tolerance for pain, both physical and emotional.

But today...my bones ache. Not so much, I don't think, from the blood disorder but from sadness.

I am filled with such a great, deep sadness today. The kind that weighs you down where smiling is near impossible and the world revolves in slow motion around you.

I will snuggle down in the muddy muck and rest.