((((((((((((((((deli))))))))))))))))))

Ugh, that sounds horrible. I'm sorry you have to deal with that over the weekend.

First - can you call pdoc over the weekend? I'm guessing you can, and I'm betting that when you talk to him on Monday and tell him this has been going on all weekend, he'll really really really wish you would have called him. I know it feels uncomfortable, but I think he would want you to do that for yourself.

Second - when it gets too loud in my head (which is the worst feeling and I hate that you are going through it), sometimes it helps me to get OUT of my house. Being in my house seems to make it worse. If I can get together with friends, or go for a hike, or even go and wander around stores (and I HATE shopping, but I hate the noise in my head more) - that will give me a break for a while. It doesn't make it go away, but it's a little reprieve.

Third - Have you tried writing stuff down? Sometimes if I write down whatever is looping in my head, it clears it out for a bit - sometimes for a few minutes, sometimes longer.

Last - giving that noise in my head a voice - telling T what is going on, even if it's embarrassing or scary or whatever - is usually what quiets it down for a long time eventually. Which loops me back to....please call pdoc.

T told me once when I was in a bad, bad place, "what you are feeling isn't who you are".

Take gentle care, sweet deli