thank you tree for replying .

pdoc has said something similar - i'm not allowed to hurt myself because i'd be hurting the wrong person.

it is night time now and tomorrow is sunday, so i can wait until mon. i think he will call me by tues though if there is no contact, so i just need to be good until then.

i deleted the original post because im not allowed to keep it up. but im grateful that you read it and responded, tree. thank you .