I know what it's like to fall into the same bad relationship that you think you just left. You seem to have been in the same one now for 23 years. I've had three of the same relationships -- same relationship, different man. And those happy drunks are something, aren't they? It's like being a kid again; it's like a drug. You giggle and laugh and laugh and giggle, and you cling to that even when he turns into a completely different person, taking your self-esteem and shredding it and stomping on it and feeding it to the dogs while you watch in mute despair -- or you find yourself turning into a different person, too, saying things you never thought you would say. I'm so sorry, Starrina. I hope you find your way to someplace, someone better.