I found out this morning that my grandmother, one of my best friends, had died.
I can't help thinking about the moments we've spent together and although I have heard this is supposed to make things better it is not, it's just making me sadder and sadder.
Depression hit me hard when I found out, and I'm surprised at myself for even getting to the computer today. I'm shaking all over and keep making typing mistakes that I have to go back and fix. My back feels like it just had a 300 pound weight dropped on it. I also broke down earlier when voices began penetrating my mind. Not a good time for that. I worked myself out of that but depression is still here.
And now my cousin is coming over my house to sleep over tonight since he found out. How on earth is that a way to go about this? What are we going to do here, sit around and distract ourselves? I wish no one would come over my house for three days, especially not my parents.
I did not know if I should have put this in "Grief" or "Depression" but I decided on this one because I'm so profoundly depressed right now.

I'm sorry, I know there is nothing anyone can do about it, I just needed to get it out to people who will care, because apparently the people I have been calling my "friends" around where I live are stuck in their own microcosmic universes and can't think of anything but themselves. Thank you.