Hi Berries,

I wonder the same thing myself many times. Do I need meds at all? Was I better off without them? If you go far enough back in time, you can find an era where you had less symptoms. That doesn't mean that today's symptoms are caused by the medications you're on. It only means that this disease progresses with time. The episodes and in some cases, visual and auditory hallucinations, get worse and worse and come more and more frequently. There is a reason that at some point you sought help...because you couldn't bear things the way they were at the moment! You felt out of control, depressed, couldn't sleep, etc., at least that was why I sought treatment.

If the voices sound like you, it's one thing, but if they sound like someone else, your meds need adjusting. Seroquel was not a panacea for me. Perhaps you need something added to it.

Also, you need to ask yourself why you think you're not worthy of treatment? Who told you that you weren't worth helping? I don't mean to play psychologist, but consider that the voices might not be you, but some event from your past trying to affect your happiness in the present.

You are worthy of love and self care. I hope you believe this or will learn to trust that it's true.