Hi Ryen and Welcome to PC.

First I wanted to say that you have discribed your anxiety perfectly, just as Myzen said. I can actually feel it. I too suffer from anxiety in various forms and it can be very debilitating. As you have mentioned. Death is a huge phobia for me and often time to even talk about it causes to mcu anxiety for me so I can not really adress this issue with you at this time. I am sorry about that.

My suggestion would be to talk with a Therapist about this. They will be able to give you insight to this and help you. I know I wasnt much help but I wanted you to know that your not alone and please post as often as needed. Take care.

Jen