I was wondering today if my T realizes what a major accomplishment the session on Thursday was. It was so effortless that I'm starting to doubt if I told her what I thought I did. Does it seem silly to call her for a reality check? I don't know if I told her that the obsessing was safe for me all of those years, but now it seems safe to love her. I feel like I love her without needing anything in return from her--that it's not transference, but my real feelings about her.

I want her to acknowledge that it's a MAJOR breakthrough for me, and be sure I did tell her all of that. I wish I could remember exactly what I said, but I can't! I also want to DO something, but there's nothing to do. Like I think my T and I should go out and celebrate or something! Just kidding.

Then there's the chance I'm imagining the whole thing, and it wasn't something major at all. Which is why I want to call her for a reality check.

I hope my feelings don't mean I'm still obsessing about her. I'm just trying to calm down about what I said during my session.

Please help me sort this out.