OMG, yes And reading this reminded me that I have always, always felt like a grown up since I was teeny tiny - which I think is why I blame myself for a lot of what happened - because a grown up should know how to get out of those situations. So, when I actually became a grown up, it was like my body finally matched who I "am" inside. And it occurred to me recently that maybe who I think I "am" is just another alter created by me as a child. Which make me wonder....where is the REAL me?? It makes my hands shake to think about that.