I'm not feeling up to much. Let alone typing this in. Went with my mom to a book publishing party. Took the ativan and had a drink before going just to be ok.before the book opening We had stopped at a cemetary to see graves of my greatgrandparents ppl I've never met. I started to ball. During the book opening I started to ball and on my way home I started to ball. Everyone seems to write more when they are in a manic phase but don't forget the blues. My pdoc gave me lamictal only. Yet I told him I was going down and thought I needed an antidepressant too. He did call me in a new script for some more ativan as I had run out and I thanked him for that cuz I ddnt think he believed me about a lot of what I told him. Anyway I'm tearing up and can't see too well so I'm getting off.