Mary Alice,
The mood swings must be hell. I have them to but nothing on the degree that some of the people here do and I feel bad for you.
I got thru my day and you didn't make it worse so don't feel bad. BUT I want you to do me a favor. Print the following and place it in your purse or somewhere that you will have easy access to it. When you feel like you have the past few days read it. I might even remind you
Lots of hugs sweetie. I am glad you had a good day and you feel genuinely cared about. You are you know.
Remember, you had a good day, it can and will happen again if you let it. YOU reached out and a good thing happened.
Heidu

"All last night and early today I thought about my T - how important he is to me and how much I truly need him and his friendship - I called him to see if somehow we could compromise and strangely enough, he was typing me an email at the same time.

My T has agreed to letting go of his "rule" for now. He realizes how very much it has upset me and he wants me to know that he IS different from everyone in my life - he cares about ME, whether it is before or after I hurt myself. The only thing he asked from me was that I would try, very hard, to call him before I did anything........but if I couldn't, he would talk to me afterwards.

He expressed some anxiety about his decision because he is worried about me, but he also knew that it has hurt me more to have the rule.

We are friends, in my opinion.......he finally understands what I mean by that and agrees. How absolutely wonderful to know that I do have someone who cares about me and will be there for me regardless of what stupid things I do.

I told him that he would not regret his decision and that it won't encourage me to do it more - just the opposite really. He's THERE for me..........and the relief I felt was so profound.

My T put my scheduled appt back in place for next week.......and because he made me so happy, my day went beyond description today. All I could think about was that I was correct - he does care about me, warts and all.....lol."


The highest reward for a person's toil is not what they get for it, but what they become by it.
John Ruskin