clk6: What do I think? That you guys on PC ought to be Ts! I'm not kidding. It's a little thing, but maybe it will make me stronger not to call.
The tears are coming, though. The urge to call is not about obsessing, but about wanting validation that I did something wonderful. I always want praise for what I do. I've discussed that in therapy too. I shouldn't need it but when I write poems, for example, I want people to praise them. I think this issue is bigger than the "love" issue even.

It's like the riddle: If a tree falls in the forest and there is no one around to hear it, does it still make a sound? If I succeed at something and no one knows about it, did I still do it? Of course I did. In the case of my T, I still look to her for approval, like a parent telling me I did good. I KNOW I did good. Why isn't that enough???? This is painful, but I so appreciate the honest feedback.