Hello and welcome to PC .

When you talk about "holiday" and feeling happy about it, but then your mind hits a wall and you do not enjoy yourself........could you explain that more ? For example, if you know that in 2 weeks you are going to go on holiday, do you start to think things like "oh, I bet I do not have fun", or do you start feeling physically ill, or have you EVER been on a holiday that was very unpleasant - or you got sick while on holiday, or something traumatic happened while you were away? Also - do you actually GO on Holiday even though your mind has hit a wall or do you not go because you know you will not have a good time?

I am SURE a therapist will have dealt with this issue. IF you think you need to see one, that is a pretty good indicator that you should.

Glad you posted, and hopefully you will post more about how this is impacting your life, and we can understand a bit better, and perhaps offer some help and support.