|
Aug 30, 2009, 04:24 PM
|
|
|
|
Member Since: Oct 2004
Posts: 10,842
|
|
Quote:
W2H,
this is very familiar to me as well. I'd never really thought about it. I knew it happened, but I didn't think about it more than that. When *I* see bl**d, i gag or get faint. I worked at the Red Cross for 2 years and there was a lot of that. We took a tour in the bl**d dept and i was seeing stars and getting dizzy.
|
Isn't it amazing how things are closed off to us until we can manage the information? So many times I knew stuff, but I either didn't think twice about it or just ignored it as normal.
Quote:
When one of my school kids had a bl**dy nose, I went into care mode, but still was nearly throwing up and I think my mannerism was that of one of those mean, stern, no-nonsence nurses.
But I have dealt with other cuts and scrapes with kids, skin coming off and the whole bit - calmly, carefully, nicely like a caring mom, seeming older than myself, dutiful, skilled - the kids don't even cry. I know i do go into "calm during crisis mode" and it is different than myself. To the point when i fell down the stairs once, and thought my ankle and toe were broken, i was asking mom for help and SHE was panicking - nearly dropped her cerial bowl. I remember saying to her "Mom - can you please be calm so *I* can panic?!"
this too is familiar. yes, for this aspect of myself there is no emotion. I can see clearly all the way back to being 3, on a trip with my parents. There was a bad accident (dad pulled in front of a semi, while towing a trailer I had been riding in) and i had literally just crawled through the hatch window and gotten in to a seat belt *right* before it happened. Mom was ***Hysterical***. I was completely calm, and had become the adult. I pat her arm and looked at her cut finger (which she doesn't even remember) and soothed her, told her everything was ok, we were all alive. The trailer and my playpen were each in 3 pieces - I would have been killed - that's why mom was so hysterical. But I dried her tears, kept saying to her we're all alive, even put the bandaid on her finger after mopping it up with a kleenix.
|
I so get that. Recently something happened that was pretty scary and someone who went with me asked me what happened to me. I didn't know what she was talking about because my memory of the incident was pretty sketchy. She said when we got some news, my face went completely blank and then calm and I took control of the situation, told her to give me her keys, that I was driving, that everything was fine and off we went. She said throughout the whole thing, my facial expression was very calm as if I was just thinking about every day stuff and not dealing with a life threatening situation. She said it helped calm her a lot.
My daughter has said that when people stress out beside me or get angry, etc- anything that deals with high emotions, it's like my body slows down and I become the extreme version of calm. She said she notices that people around me calm down from it or at the least, stand out in the extreme from the calmness in me. The only thing I can think is that when I was younger, it must have been needed to keep me safe and to deal with whatever was going on.
Quote:
|
But i do have that "calm self" in emergencies that comes complete with a later arenaline rush, headache, and stomach problems (all things that come with alter swaps for us).
|
Phew, yea, even though the outside shows extreme calmness, my insides tend to get pretty messed up. I guess it affects the body somewhere, even if it doesn't show. That causes struggles here in so many ways, particular when from the outside it looks like I'm managing just fine, even when I'm not from the inside.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiya
Oh yes, we also have other parts than our current body age (32). Age gets kinda screwy because the kids all think of themselves as being old and having no age. I can sorta tell what age category they fall into, but there are no fast borders on those.
Then Latifa is like early 40's and has certain maturities that the rest of us do not and cannot speak about) and narrator is older than us, but again no real age and is what the name implies.
The kids HATE being asked their age. they feel like adults and hate anything that suggests otherwise. It took me years to understand that our SI part was really only 10. @_@
|
So hard sometimes to realize that the parts that are so self destructive to this body are young children who either are just doing what they were programmed to do or have learned how to cope and live through things by injuring.
Age is a weird thing to me. I don't know how old I am most of the time. But then I don't know what year it is half the time, and I rarely know what month and day it is.  I don't know if other parts of me consider ages. T said some (or a lot of) parts are stuck in time with ages and are in certain years so I don't know. It's still pretty confusing to me.
Thanks so much for sharing ((((((((((((((Kiya))))))))))))))  
__________________
|