Well Alex welcome to the forum and life. However let me give you some ideas ... everything has different view points, besides the glass half full and half empty theroy.

You seem to look at things from a deep and ideal mind. Now imagine if you could tap into that and use it to lets say find someone else whos less abled to understand .. you then would change things.

See you have this gift to see and think and be able to talk about what you see. While yours right now is in negative flavor .. use that power to help others and you know what .. this dark sucking will change .. i have found personally helping others give me a new view and feeling. If you dislike the way the mind is set use that information you see and show others and help them as they help you and you can find that gapping hole filled to where sucking just might be a thought rather then a reality