Dear fuzzywuzzybear - Don't you know that when others say things like that to us that they are speaking out of their own "woundedness?" We, all of us here at PC, handle more in 5 minutes than a lot of people do in their entire lifetime. I have been accused of being and doing just about everything imagineable (my bio family is a real hoot!). People speak out of their own fears: some feel impotent because they can't "fix" us and are afraid that they wouldn't be able to "fix" themselves if they ever found themselves in our situations. Some criticize and label us in order to feel superior to us ("At least I'm not as messed up as her/him!"). I could reallllllly get into it here, but the short of it is just this: When others say things like that to you, you need to look very closely at them because their words reveal more about them than they do about you.