ariesmars - I understand completely how you are feeling now - I used to feel that way almost constantly. Then one day I realized that I didn't want to die, I wanted the pain to stop so that I could live - I wanted the weight lifted off so that I could breathe - I wanted out of the darkness so I could stand in the light. You are doing the right thing by sharing with everyone here - we are all helping each other, including you, get to that light - that life. Don't stop now. Lean on us.