Just listening to REM right now. I always find that a comfort when i am this down. Yeah all my friends hate me. They have made some very very hurtful comments today on LJ. They accuse me of not having depression. One of my friends even said very hurtfully tht my Grandfather did not have bi polar. Yet he broke down during the war and had a stutter for the rest of his life afterwards. He cut my Mother off for years, before my eventualy reconciliation of sorts. he ws never officially diagnosed though. I miss him very much.
Anyway i forgive my friends. I know they wont take that at face value. If i said that on my LJ right now they would reject it. I know they all have mental health problems so i forgive them. This whole thing started because they argue i have not given them space, privacy etc. But they have not shown me respect with all the hurtful comments today, especially not believing i have depression.
My counsellor had been frustrated that i up to now have not shown any deeper feelings. But it is only a month since i have seen her, it is hard for me to trust someone, hard for me to open up as i am a very private person. But i will now open up and discuss things. For my own peice of mind i guess. I know that means she will refer to my GP. Maybe that is not a bad thing. Perhaps finally someone can help me. I dunno. But it has hurt me today with my friends saying i am not depressed. I loved my friends so much. But i forgive them.